The Beginning Of My Spiritual Journey


Ten months ago I embarked on a new journey, a Spiritual one (yes, capital letter and all). I didn’t know where this would lead me; I didn’t know what to expect. The only thing that I knew at that time was that I needed to do something differently. I was not feeling happy or fulfilled; something was missing.

For those of you who don’t know me, let me tell you a little bit about me. The abridged version, if you will. I am a 39-year-old woman, born and raised in Mexico City, living in Los Angeles, married, with three children: a boy (11) and two girls (8 and 5). I have food, I have clothes, a severe case of too many shoes (if that’s even possible), I have a beautiful home, both of my parents healthy, I have extended family that loves me, I have (lots) of friends. What was I missing then? Why did I still feel an emptiness inside of me?

The first time that I heard about the Spiritual Psychology program and The University of Santa Monica was about five years ago when I just moved to Los Angeles. “Yeah, it sounds amazing, but not for me.” I thought it was a combination of Kumbaya-Granola-Cult-y kind of program. Plus, it involved committing one whole weekend a month, my ultimate excuse that didn’t feel like an excuse. It wasn’t until I witnessed one of my best friend’s transformation that I started to get curious about it. Every time I talked to my friend Gaby and she talked about her experience at USM or just talked, period, I could sense something different about her. The interesting thing is that her essence didn’t change at all, she was still the same warm-hearted and good-vibed friend that she had always been, but there was this glow about her. This brightness. This clarity. This joy. I want that, I thought. But a part of me was still finding resistance. The certificate started in October and oh no, I forgot the deadline. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t for me after all. Little did I know that it was indeed for me. I received an email announcing that there would be a make-up class which will take place in November for all of those who were interested in taking the 10-month program. Shoot. What’s my excuse now? Reluctantly, I filled out the application and a few days later I got a call: “Congratulations, you’ve been accepted into the Soul-Centered Living I program”.

I have a Barbie complex. Please don’t laugh and don’t get me wrong. I don’t dye my hair platinum, nor I dress in bright colored short skirts. I don’t I want to look like a Barbie doll, and I certainly don’t look like one; but I’ve always wished that I could be everything: Barbie Doctor, Barbie Writer, Barbie Chef, Barbie Dancer, Barbie Actress, Barbie Fashion Designer, Barbie Stylist, Barbie Mommy. Those who know me know that I’ve tried. I’ve been in Fashion School, I’ve done a course in Make-up artistry, I hold a Certificate in Translation, I’ve studied International Affairs, Communication Science, English Literature, Jack Grapes’ Method Writing class (which I highly recommend, by the way). You name it. I’ve probably been to every School of Continuing Education website in the past 15 years, my mouth watering about what I will do next. So I guess the first thought that Diego, my husband, and everybody whom I told that I was planning on doing a Certificate in Spiritual Psychology was: “Oh, no, not again!”. And, quite honestly, a voice in my head (whom I fired earlier today) told me the same thing. Not. Again.

So here I was, doing a make-up weekend (this meant going to school from Wednesday to Sunday) of this Soul Centered Living “thing.” I entered a big room with approximately 100 persons (Friday night the rest of the class joined us, about another hundred): young, old, middle-aged, men and women from all races and from all over the world. A man that traveled 25 hours from Africa to be there. Wow. How I dared to complain about traffic coming from the Palisades to Santa Monica (for those of you not familiar with Los Angeles areas, it is a fifteen-minute drive). Oops. From the very first day, I could sense that this was a different environment from what I’ve been used to. I could feel a different energy. I could feel an energy. At that moment, I made two commitments with myself: one, that I would finish the program in its entirety; and two, that I would give my best, I would let it all out. In my new vocabulary: I would be vulnerable.

And, oh boy, if I was. I was very vulnerable. From that very first weekend and from then on, I didn’t hold back. I didn’t leave anything behind. I worked on issues that I didn’t even know I had. I worked and healed issues that I didn’t even know that were issues. I healed issues that had (notice the past tense, here) accompanied me almost my whole life. I healed myself through other people’s healing. I (re)discovered the strength of heart that I have. I learned to identify my triggers, to acknowledge them, and to let them go (work in progress). I learned (and, again, I am still learning) the real meaning of the word “ACCEPTANCE.” I found out that growth is a process, not an event. I found out that one cannot run out of tears in service for one’s healing. I learned the power of forgiveness and that to forgive or ask for forgiveness to others you have to forgive yourself first. The best thing of it all, I found my voice. Oh no, wait! I guess the other best thing I found was the people taking this journey with me. As I said before, people of all ages and upbringings, people that I seem not have anything in common with in the outside world, but that those differences dissolve when you recognize them in you. I realized that we come to this world for one thing: to learn and to grow. Well, I guess for two things, then. And all the problems, the triggers, the struggles, the upsets are here to teach us something. I am pretty sure that I haven’t found Nirvana, and I do not think that I am Enlightened either, but I certainly feel more open, more centered. Happier.

Of course,  I found a lot of resistance and judgments along this ten-month journey. I found myself justifying my decision with friends that did not understand why I had enrolled the program. I found myself rolling my eyes when someone in class said something that I judged as corny or pretentious, or when someone raised his/her hand one too many times to share. For instance, I find (yes, present tense, find) myself hesitating to write this blog for fear of sounding “cult-y”. But now I understand that all of these judgments and resistances were (are) part of the journey, and I’m glad I cleared them up. And, yes, one weekend a month represents lots of sacrifices. It was hard for my family, for my children, for my husband (thank you, hon). I missed barbecues, school functions, birthday parties, soccer games, dinner parties, Mother’s Day, you name it! I missed many, many events, but you know what? It was worth it because everything that I’ve gained has impacted directly in my family and in every relationship in which I am involved (including the relationship with myself).
Oh, and I (finally) made peace with my “Barbie complex” and realized that if I like (so) many things, it only means that I am a creative person. Most importantly, I realized that, up until now, I wasn’t looking for a profession or a career, I was looking for a purpose. That is the main reason why I started this blog. Because I wanted to share -what I believe- is a gift, the gift of using words to express myself; to tell stories. I wanted to share with you through my writing my life, my thoughts, my struggles, my likes, my passions, my stories.

Lastly, I also learned that a Spiritual person could actually like Chanel and Isabel Marant because being Spiritual has nothing to do with that (so I will keep on sharing about those things, too). For me, to be Spiritual is to recognize that Love resides in every person (yes, in every person on this planet), but first, to recognize that Love in yourself.

I am grateful for you that are reading this right now because believe it or not, somehow, you’ve been part of this journey. Thank you.







28 responses to “The Beginning Of My Spiritual Journey”

  1. Milena Allier Avatar
    Milena Allier

    Increíble Mache!! Quiero que me cuentes más!! Te quiero mucho!!

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      ¡Gracias, Mile! No sabes qué padre. Va a haber un curso en México, te aviso porque vale la pena. ¡Te quiero!

  2. Mariya Madters Avatar
    Mariya Madters

    Dear Marcela ~ Brava! What a wonderfully creative writer you are! Thank you for this lovely blog. You are one of the people who deeply inspired me these past 10 months. Just to know you were in somewhere in the room made me smile.
    Sending you lots of Love and Light and Laughter!

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Thank you,Mariya, for your lovely words. One of my favorite parts was to count on your beautiful smile every month. I hope to see you again soon, hopefully in SCL II.

  3. Ana Avatar

    Marce, estoy tan orgullosa de ti !! Felicidades!! Me parece que recargaste la escalera en la pared correcta!! Difícilmente encontrarás una pared que valga más la pena de subir. Disfruta el trayecto, te quiero!! Ana

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      ¡Mil gracias! Me encantó la metáfora de la pared y la escalera. Me encantaron tus palabras. Te quiero mucho.

  4. Jenn Avatar

    Marcela, you inspired me also these last ten months. Seeing your little face in class always made me feel safe and comforted. So glad you are shining your beautiful light with the world!!! Xo

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Thank you for your lovely words, Jenn! I am touched. I loved sharing this experience with you. Please let me know when you’re in town. Xoxo

  5. Jaroslava Avatar

    Uuuufff!!! Cuándo empieza el próximo?! Yo quiero!!! Me encanta que te hayas metido a eso Marc, siento que de veras estás logrando cumplir la promesa del millón “juntar cuerpo, mente y alma” y estar completamente presente con todo eso?????? Así como dices que sentías de tu amiga, yo siento de ti y me siento toooodavía máaaaaas (si es que se puede) afortunada de tenerte en mi vida?

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Te super adoro, muchísimas gracias por tus palabras. Y si!! En cuanto sepa las fechas de México te aviso.

  6. James Avatar

    I saw you roll your eyes once:). Hehe!
    Oh, yes, how sweet it is to share so vulnerably. Thank you so much. I promise to share my story as well.
    Great work! So glad we did this together. So much Love for you Soul sister.

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      LOL, James. Thank you for your sweet note. If you saw me, never at you ?. I hope to see you soon and I am looking forward to read your story. Love,

  7. Claudia Avatar

    Beautifully expressed Marce…✍

  8. David Avatar

    Proud of you Marcela! Sending so much love your way 🙂 Palisades hike soon!

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Hike for sure! Thanks so much for your words. It was a true pleasure meeting you and sharing this journey.

  9. Ann Anderson Avatar
    Ann Anderson

    This is beautiful. So love your writing and acknowledgement of dropping the judgments and coming into self acceptance, forgiving, and loving resonance. Even though we didn’t trio I feel the connection! 🙂

  10. Shondia Avatar

    You are a treasure. I feel graced by the love and light that pours out of you, a highlight of my experience.

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      My dear Shondia!!! I’m in tears reading your comment. Thank you so much. I am lucky to have met you, your so kind and warm hearted. I really hope to connect with you again. Let me know when you’re in town, please.

  11. Susy Avatar

    Marce haces que a todos nos den ganas de meternos al curso!!! Felicidades!!! Por cómo escribes y por lograr lo que te propusiste. Un abrazote!

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      ¡¡¡Susy!!!! Gracias, qué linda. Si todos nos metiéramos te lo juro que el mundo sería un mejor lugar!! Te extraño!

  12. Cecilia Silva Avatar
    Cecilia Silva

    Marce, ¡ni siquiera sabía que hubiera algo así!
    Suena súper interesante. Da para hooooras y hooooras de té y/o café.
    ¿Recomiendas algún libro del tema?
    ¡Abrazo grande!

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Sí, te recomiendo mucho este libro: Loyalty to your Soul, de Ron Hulnick. Y pronto voy a escribir un blog de los libros que leí durante el diplomado.

  13. Gabriela serna Avatar
    Gabriela serna

    Marce que orgullo que la Vida nos puso en este Increible camino.
    Te aprendo mucho y Ese joy y glow tu tambien Lo tienes .
    Gracias por tus palabras.
    Te quiero ❤️?

  14. Arminda Lindsay Avatar

    What a beautiful journey, complete with all the resistance and judgments that show up! I love and acknowledge you for committing to and completing your first year! It’s been nothing short of a privilege to share the last ten months together and I can’t wait to hug you in October. Loving you, xo

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      Sigh. Oh, Arminda. Thanks for always giving me a reassuring smile and/or look and now for your lovely message. I look forward to share with you part II. Love,

  15. Sofia Avatar

    Marce gracias por compartir todo !!nunca dejes de escribir ? Me quiero inscribir manana

    1. mycupoftea Avatar

      ¡¡¡Gracias Sofi!!! Te lo recomiendo muchísimo y de mientras estoy trabajando en un post de los libros que más me gustaron y pues empezar por ahí. Te mando un beso grande. Gracias por escribir.

  16. Paola Avatar

    Yo también quierooooo!!!!????